Biopsy results...

Finally some good news. On Monday I had the "suspicious breast lesion" removed successfully. Dr. Marks told my husband that everything was "perfect" when describing how the procedure went. Today Dr. Marks called to give me the good news that the source of bleeding had been isolated and was multiple intraductal papillomas--a benign process. So my breast cancer scare is officially OVER for now.

I will be having a fine needle aspiration (guided by ultrasound) of my thyroid nodules done at Northridge Hospital's Women's Center (they have got to be as sick of me as I am of them by now) on Wednesday, April 18th. We are looking for confirmation of common nodular goiter (probably caused by hypothyroidism), but biopsy will be done to rule out thyroid cancer. I have a friend who is having the same thing done two days later, so please keep her in your prayers, too.

The best part about the breast surgery--certainly NOT the throbbing boob pain I experienced the day after once the local anesthetic wore off--was being under general anesthesia. They used propaphol, which we recognized immediately as Elizabeth's "milky sleepy medicine." While I was under, I saw Elizabeth. She was in the distance running and playing in ways she never could while she was alive with cancer. She looked completely healthy and restored, so much so that she almost didn't look like herself, but it was clearly her. She was happy! I don't know that she "visited" me, because I didn't have any direct communication with her, but I believe that I was given this sweet gift of seeing her. I felt like someone was telling me that she was okay and that I could stop worrying about her. I really believe that this experience was a most precious gift from God, at a time I needed it most. I tried to get closer to her once I saw her, but couldn't. When I was coming out of the anesthesia, I remember asking for Michael, and apparently once he was there I told him SEVERAL times about Elizabeth... I was still pretty loopy from the medication I guess. Even if the icky complications from this surgery happen, this experience was WELL worth it. I finally feel like Elizabeth is okay.

We are starting to pick up the pieces and find ways to move forward with life. I'm looking for work. Matt likes to go to the cemetery, so lately we've been going about 2 or 3 times a week. It's nice to remember Elizabeth through his eyes sometimes, and to see how much he still thinks about her and loves her. Elizabeth's brothers are going to keep her memory alive in so many amazing ways... I am excited to see what they continue to come up with.